How to cross la Septima – A five-step guide for the first-time visitor

Photo courtesy El Tiempo.

Carrera Septima (literally “Seventh Avenue”) is the spine of the city. An eight-lane, 28-kilometre, 211-block length of tarmac in various states of disrepair, it stretches from Santa Ana Sur in the south to Buena Vista in the north.

I know. It’s long.

La Septima is without a doubt the most important street in Bogotá. Also known as Avenida Posada Flórez but never referred to as such, it offers visitors an up-close look at the city’s tumultuous history, its rich culture, and varied architecture.

For residents, it offers the opportunity to sit (or stand) in the world’s sixth worst traffic.

On Sundays and holidays it’s an integral part of La Ciclovia. The rest of the week it plays host to some of Bogotanos’ less desirable behaviors.

Current Mayor Enrique Peñalosa has a plan to relieve the congestion with a new Transmilenio line between Calles 32 and 200. But it won’t come to fruition until 2021, provided it survives the opposition and the whims of whoever succeeds him once his term expires.

The timeline to change the city’s lack of civility is considerably longer.

So, with neither of these solutions being a short-term fix, I’ve assembled a handy guide for the first-time visitor in the hope it will make their visits safer.

The Art Deco Teatro Jorge Gaitan lies at Septima with Calle 22.

Step 1. Decide whether it’s worth crossing at all.

True, many of the stores and services you need lie tantalizingly on the other side of the street. Also true is that you can have nearly any product delivered or service carried out through the fleet-footed folks at Rappi (remember to tip generously). Remember, too, that most banks and cafes have branches every three blocks on your side of the street. There’s probably a Tostao going up next to you right now, so why not go for a walk instead?

Step 2. Bring a change of clothes. You might be waiting a while.

Bogotá is still a few years away from a smart traffic system. Apart from “arbitrary,” there seems to be no guiding principle for how long the lights last once they do change. Luckily, many Bogotanos set up snack stands at crosswalks, so you’ll have ample time to down an empanada and a tinto while you reflect on your life choices (see Step 1).

Step 3. Look left, right, behind you, and into any alternate or parallel dimensions.

Once you do get a signal to cross, remember what your parents and your physics teachers taught you. Bogotá drivers observe traffic laws at their extreme leisure and cars will appear when and where you least expect them. For example: speeding the wrong way down a side street to make a left on a yellow, as is common during rush hour at Calle 112. Drivers also tend to cut corners incredibly close around pedestrians (see “No. 10, Solidarity“). If you’re walking your dog, keep it on a short leash and make sure it’s ahead of you, not lagging behind.

Plaza Bolívar opens onto the Septima at Calle 11.

Step 4. Establish a base camp.

Your standard cross signal will in no way last long enough for you to cross all eight lanes in one go, especially if there are people crossing from the other side. Say, for example, between 12 noon and 1 PM at Calle 116, as the Hacienda Santa Barbara empties of workers returning to their offices in the Teleport Business Park. Your best bet is to cross in stages, using the medians as base camps. Careful, though, these medians will be wobbly, uneven, and crowded.

Step 5. Look into the drivers’ soul. Provided he’s not looking into his phone.

Eye contact is your last and most effective line of defense, especially once you’ve passed the point of no return. Bogotá drivers have no qualms texting while driving, so the key here is to make yourself as unavoidably obvious as possible. If the driver fails to slow down, try an outstretched hand or finger wave. Whatever you do, keep moving.

If all else fails, cross with the locals and hope for the best.